Can two recovering Meth addicts stay together?

dougie

Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

could it work out for the children?

message board replies...

imlostinky

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

If they are both working their recovery, yes.

Saved
inillinois

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Dougie-
My husband and I both used meth. We've both been clean since January 2002.
I think it's possible for it to work. I'm not saying my marriage is good, but everyone's different.
Definitely seek counseling. If you're like us, there are many things we did to each other while using that we need to deal with and let go of.
Please know that just because you're sober, doesn't mean everything will be peaches and cream. You face tremendous odds of failing. Just dealing with staying sober alone is a major obstacle without having to work on a marriage in the meantime.
In my personal situation, I'm not sure if my husband and I will make it or not. But I can promise you that if we don't make it, it won't be for lack of trying.
Give it your absolute best shot and that's all you can do. But, it does have to be both of you giving 100%. A marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100.
Oh yeah, most importantly, ask God for help. He listens and can do so much for you. He is our ultimate Counselor.

Good luck!!

Paws
from hell

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Quote:

can two recovering meth addicts stay together

the critical point here is "recovering", yes it can be done, but, it's not going to be the most graceful and easy experience. {{{{{{{ Shudder }}}}}}}}

no more
mething
around

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Yes, it can be done.

My husband and I will celebrate 10 yrs on July 17...10 yrs together, and out of the life. We have relapsed together as well. Most recently, 14 months ago. Not any since.
Counseling has saved us, as well as faith in God that all things work together for good. See yesterday's post about God's cake. Awesome, so true.
We BOTH want this. For us, for our children.
I would say start with yourself, the one person you can change. And work on forgiveness, for yourself and your partner.
I know the one thing that helped us was GOALS as a couple, a family. Helped us to stay focused on the future, rather than dwell in the past.
And like most others, we have been thru some SHYT !!
The people on drugs .... well, we do and say things that even we can't believe we did or said it.
Extend to your partner the forgiveness that YOU need, the attention and understanding that YOU want. Give what you want to receive. You can only start with you.

queen
b92

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Yes, definitely. My husband and I used together we have been clean almost 8 months and expecting our second. Your relationship will take work but what relationship doesn't! Just stay positive and don't be so quick to blame the other person!

angie
Ncali

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

I guess it can be done. If both people want it too .....
I had hoped it would be that way for my husband and I .... sad to say it isn't appearing that way - and I waited like a FOOL for him for 3 Years .... and now he wants to smoke weed .... I thought I would be able to handle it when the day came - and I knew it would ..... But I can't....
So not sure where go from here

DSALO1

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Dear Angi,
I'm sorry about your husband and your NOT a fool.

FreeOn
Kci

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

YES it can work...Me and my husband just had our 1 year wedding anniversary July 3..we've been clean and sober. Me, 17 months him, 18 months.
But my advice is that you both need to focus on yourselves and work out the problems you have inside you before you start on the relationship it self...The reason being is if you don't focus on you and figure what's going on inside you then you'll never be able to face the struggles in the relationship it self...
During mine and my husbands use, a lot of things went on good and mostly bad but as he went into his rehab and me in mine we both agree to work on ourselves cuz if you don't love yourself then you can't be loved nor can you love the other...as time went by and he admitting his wrong and me mine things kind of just fell into place as far as forgiveness and letting the past be where it is..
Anyhow today we have a strong relationship, honest, open, pure and unselfish we don't hide anything from each other we state our options about things and if we disagree about something then we disagree and let it go if there is no changing it...
Every marriage has it disagreements and yes it is harder with two recovery addicts BUT he works his program his way and I work mine my way..though it's hard cuz I'd really like to work his for him (ha ha ha) it really would make things go easier (ha ha) but it is possible. good luck!!!

vlussi

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Yes, I think that you can make it work. My boyfriend and I quit together. Its now been 9 months and we help each other in many ways. He just stopped. And I go to meetings, and spend a lot of time on this site. We both have different ways of dealing with recovery even though he doesn't go to meetings, He is very strong and I have no doubts about him relapsing. Good luck..

Kell
happy

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

I am a recovering meth addict/drug addict/alcoholic, and my husband is a recovering coke addict/alcoholic (we're addicts!! but the descriptions of "to what" are sometimes meaningful to some people, so I elaborated)
Anyway, I think, like many things, that it has its pros and cons. In a way, I became close to my husband as a friend because he had already quit coke when we met. He shared a lot of his stories with me, and I felt very at ease telling him a lot about me. I was just about to try quitting meth when we met. I wasn't as ashamed to talk with him as I was with others. I felt he would understand, and he is the person I've always been able to be the most honest with since then. He encouraged me a lot. He never tried to work my recovery for me, because he knew I was the only one who could do it for myself. He always reminds me how hard I've worked and how much I've changed. He is my #1 cheerleader.

On the other hand, we both have issues we're still needing to work on. Sometimes we have yelling, stomping, cussing fights (though they sure seem tame compared to some I've read about here). It's really hard for me, because I am just scared to death of conflict. I'm sooooo codependent. In my opinion, we both need to work on what's underneath our anger, in addition to a bunch of other stuff.

I think that we are doing an OK job. Sometimes I wish things would just be different, but I know we have to work at them. I'm really glad I feel safe enough to be honest with him. That has given me the biggest feeling of freedom in recovery, just being able to "let it all hang out". When I was using, I was HIDING....from myself and everyone else. Now, I'm getting to know how I really feel about stuff, and I need someone to hash it out with. I wish we talked MORE!!

I'm going to channel forgetsuzzette.....how's your trust level?? That's important, too.
You have all my best wishes. I believe it's possible!

Penel0pe

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Yes! Hubby and I are recovering together - as a team.

2fast
2late

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Do you really think so? Because my husband and I didn't use together, but we both used at same place, time, etc. and its ruined so much of our marriage to the point of him leaving me last night, Oh! not over meth. but my issues that I have left over from our destructive marriage that we both haven't seem to have time to work out other then what we both know, and it never works.
But then who am I to say anything I've only just begun this adventure. I hope yours works out I really do

imlostinky

Re: Can two recovering meth addicts stay together?

Quote:
Oh! not over meth.

Maybe but you can bet meth played a part.
Before you can work on the issues, got to get past the meth.
It clouds your view.
Hubby when he was still using and lost his truck :

Quote:

It was a piece of junk anyway. I didn't want it, I want another truck.

after he gets clean:

Quote:
I was so stupid. How could I lose my truck over doing sh!t?

Using clouds your view.